33rd March - the 33rd set of ides I've been to. That's because I'm 32: before I was one year old, I'd seen the first set. But that was a different context because I was not conscious then.
Am I conscious now? Of course I am. Acutely so. Am I conscious to intensity of my consciousness toward my situation? There we go - two degrees in, I become numb to myself.
There WE go - ALL of us. All of the people that constitute me. Its hard accommodating all of me into an idea, especially when there are so many I don't want to accommodate. I want to distance myself from the uncool personas - the failed rock star and the guy who couldn't crack UPSC even after six attempts.
Who am I now? Who will I be tomorrow? I don't know. Its easy to say optimism is a choice: I wish I could just outsource that choice to the person who said it, because it is becoming harder for me to keep choosing optimism. I was in the inertia of an opposite charge. I reversed the polarity. I chose to make it happen. Will I look back on today and say I chose optimism and made the impossible happen? The answer is suspended like a rock of certainty in a void of nothingness, waiting for me to claim her. I choose my answer here and now. It is YES.